My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
