so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
