I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
