Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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