dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
