How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i out mim tonsoeep
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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