I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
