I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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