i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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