You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
