brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
