Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
