I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sobbing to NWA
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
