After last night, I could never be a politician.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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