Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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