i barfeds in our rink
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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