you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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