Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
