is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
