brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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