i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
