dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
