so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
