i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
