apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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