Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just found puke in my bra..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
