at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
