All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
