Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
