i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
