end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
