It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
