if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Soap is not a condiment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
