PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
