I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
