Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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