I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
