No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
