Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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