dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
