ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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