i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
