He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
