I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
