we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
