oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
BRING THE BAGELS
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When are your genitals available?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
