Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
