it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if only i could text you this smell
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Still dying that you shit outside
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
