saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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