He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
