Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
