now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
