dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
