Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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