your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
